Bukky Gray, Chartered MCIPD

Director of HR at University of Cambridge and Co-Founder, Cognitive Humanity

On a day traditionally reserved for celebrating men’s achievements, We Are GLOBAL Women🌍 offered something more expansive. 

Hosted in honour of #InternationalMensDay, the event turned the spotlight toward a deeper inquiry: How do we build a future where everyone can thrive, across gender, generation, and geography?

At Cognitive Humanity, we’ve always seen empathy not just as a tool for inclusion, but as a bridge for transformation. And at this gathering, the message rang clear: Masculinity must evolve. Mental health needs a new language. And our collective future depends on how well we collaborate, listen, and lead with intention.

The Science

Empathy, particularly perspective-taking has long been shown to reduce bias, deepen connection, and strengthen wellbeing. But when boys are raised to suppress emotion and men are rewarded for stoicism, the cost is high for everyone.

Across health systems, workplaces, and communities, we see the ripple effects:

• Suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 55.
• One in three people leave their careers to become carers—most without timely support or acknowledgement.
• Men are consistently under diagnosed for conditions like depression and dementia, because symptoms often present differently—and systems are slow to adapt.

Empathy, in this context, is structural. It shapes who gets heard, who gets helped, and who gets to heal.

Key Insights from the Conference

Masculinity = Humanity

We often treat masculinity and femininity as opposites, when in reality, they are simply different ways of being human. Strength and vulnerability aren’t contradictions. They’re companions. We need more language—and more permission—for men to be whole.

Mental Health Cannot Be Outsourced

One panellist captured it plainly: “Everyone knew, but no one did anything.”

HR policies, wellness initiatives, and mental health champions are necessary, but they fall short without trust.

Support isn’t just about availability. It’s about belief. Presence. Listening. Following through. That’s what builds safety.

From Space Missions to Dementia Care

In a striking talk by Edye Hoffmann, FRSA, we heard how astronauts and carers navigate similar terrains: high-stakes uncertainty, isolation, and uncharted environments.

Her message was clear: Build your support systems before crisis hits. Reframe perception. Design for dignity. And, language matters. Think of the difference between phrases like, “maximum absorbency garment” vs. “nappy.” Words don’t just describe reality, they shape it.

Sustainability Is a Shared Legacy

In the panel on sustainability and legacy, we were reminded that the responsibility for a fairer, greener future can’t rest on policymakers alone. It takes employers, universities, communities and individual action.

The message wasn’t one of pressure, but of agency. Let’s ride the positive momentum, not the wave of negative effects.

We often wait for catastrophe before we act. But change, when driven by shared vision and small, consistent decisions, builds its own kind of resilience. Sustainability isn't just about climate, it’s about continuity, care, and what we choose to leave behind.

Empathy as Integration

In a spontaneous contribution to the final panel, Jamie Potter introduced the concept of the shadow self, the idea that each of us holds both masculine and feminine traits, and our task is not to choose between them, but to integrate them. To respond with what the moment needs.

When asked what we might gain by doing that work, his answer was simple: Empathy.

That insight is the thread that runs through every session, from sustainability to mental health, from inclusion to innovation. Because empathy isn’t just something we extend to others. It starts with the courage to integrate our own contradictions.

What This Means for Cognitive Humanity

If we’re serious about transforming workplaces, we have to stop seeing inclusion as something we “do” to others. It’s not about fixing. It’s about recognising what’s shared, that both men and women carry hidden burdens, silent griefs, and unspoken expectations.

Empathy at scale—measured, tracked, practiced—gives us the architecture to change that. We are building tools that don’t just score empathy, but unlock actions that:

• rebuild trust.
• embed wellbeing.
• leave behind something better.

Legacy isn’t what we build when everything is fixed. It’s what we begin when we decide to show up differently.

To connect with Bukky and find out more from Cognitive Humanity, please click here

Bukky Gray, Charteded MCIPD - Cognitive Humanity